About-the-song Series, track 6: "Dear Me"

Tamalpais Glory - Marin County, California, a photo by PatrickSmithPhotography on Flickr.

I once heard it said: "life is a series of deaths and resurrections." I like that.
I mentioned this to a friend of mine as we talked about the ups and downs of life (once again, at a coffee shop).
"During our 'Up' seasons, we really should write ourselves a little time capsule or something. Something to remind ourselves when we're in the valleys that it really is going to get better," we decided.
"Dear Me" was born from that short conversation. The song is an open letter, written from oneself during a mountaintop season of life, to oneself during a season when things aren't coming up roses.
Let's face it, "valley" seasons are rough. They're lonely. They're hard for anyone else to understand. They're just plain hard!! I mean, David didn't call it "the valley of the shadow of death" for no reason! During these dark times, it can become harder and harder to remember what it's like to wake up feeling genuinely hopeful. What it feels like to be genuinely at peace with who you are. To feel assured that you're on the right path. These are testing times - sometimes by God's leading, sometimes by our own less-than-awesome decisions...
The beautiful thing about our faith is that, either way - whether we don't know why in the world we're going through this, or maybe we know exactly why - we have a Redeemer who is in the business of taking these seasons and turning them into, what we look back on as some of the most profound, amazing experiences of our lives. During the valleys, we grow; we get stronger; we learn. We become better versions of ourselves in ways we never would have dreamed possible!
And then, maybe just when we've conditioned ourselves not to expect the sun to shine again, and we've learned to be content and grateful, whether we ever see another spring day...
....Here it comes...just over the mountain: the sunrise. And you begin to feel it's warmth on your face. The clouds fade away to blue; the flowers begin to bloom. A new spring has sprung, and it's better than ever before. New life has been created all around you, and best of all, in you.

About-the-Song Series, track 7: Man of Sorrows

I too had my share of tears..., a photo by AnnuskA - AnnA Theodora on Flickr.

A friend of mine announced to me and others one Sunday afternoon that his/her parents were getting divorced. The words came out so matter-of-factly, the same way you might say, "I like pizza," or "can you pass the remote?" To be honest, the lack of emotion impacted me even more strongly than the news of the divorce did. I burst into tears. It was really strange! Why was I crying when my friend wasn't at all?
I sat down to write a song the next day and found myself so distracted by the lingering sense of grief I'd been feeling since I heard the news from my friend. What was going on???
It was the haunting sense of numb. The sense that my friend had grown so used to functioning amongst the broken pieces (like so many of us are) that it just didn't seem like he/she should make it a big deal. Or maybe my friend just didn't "have time" to cry? Caught in the race to build a life & future the way we like to do at break-neck speeds. So much pressure to keep it all together; no time for falling apart.
There at the antique store/coffee shop, I wrote a prayer for my friend, then began reading around our inspiration chapter, Isaiah 61, and found Isaiah 53.
"Man of Sorrows" was born on this day. It's a song written to be a safe, quiet island for those in need of an escape; an excuse, if just for 5 minutes, to cry their tears with someone who understands...

About-the-Song Series, track 3: "Your Year."

Vintage 1972 Calendar Towel, a photo by Niesz Vintage Fabric on Flickr.

Ever get sick'n'tired of bein' sick'n'tired? Me too.
I've personally spent waay too much of my journey being mystified. Mystified that I was supposed to have peace - but I didn't feel peaceful. Mystified that I was supposed to have joy - but didn't feel joyful. I was getting tossed and turned by whatever my day held - on good days I was happy, on bad days I was sad. Up, down, up, down. Big waves of darkness, hopelessness, anxiety, powerlessness, and fear kept washing over me, eroding my faith in life and God a little more each time. I was failing. I was falling, and I was quickly falling out of love with Life.
I finally got fed up enough with surrendering myself to the waves of life to cry for help. And I got it.  God gave me some new keys:
Peace is MINE. I don't have to ask for it - I HAVE it. When I don't feel peaceful, I tell my feelings to shut up: I have all the peace that Jesus had on earth because He lives inside me.
Courage is MINE. When I feel afraid, I tell my feelings, "guess what? I haven't been given the spirit of fear, but the spirit of power and a sound mind. Bu-bye now."
Freedom from guilt/shame/people pleasing is MINE. When I feel bummed or disappointed in myself or think I may have let someone down, I tell my feelings, "I've been set free from guilt, shame and law through the cross. Thank you for trying, but don't mind coming back again."
Victory is MINE (Cor. 2:14-16); Hope is MINE (1 Peter 1:3-7); Love is MINE (Romans 8:38-39); Joy is MINE (John 15:11).

The power we have to calm those life-waves is beyond words, so I'm gonna sing about it instead. "Your Year" is the celebration tune you listen to when you're ready to GET OVER IT and MOVE ON WITH HOPE - No. Matter. What. It. Takes. It's filled with resolve and a happy reminder that peace is yours! Joy is yours! A powerful life is YOURS! There's a beautiful life that's yours to have any day you want it! The past is past - THIS is the year you've been waiting for! So get after it - and shake some tailfeathers!

About-the-Song Series, Track 4: "Dreamless Friend."

My Junior Year of college, my friend and I would walk down to the river and talk about our life dreams: ones that still seemed possible and ones that were dying.  It was a season of head-on collisions between our girlhood hopes and day-to-day realities.  

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart," we would remind one another, and "The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus came that you may have life, and have it to the full."  

My friend and I fought for each other's dreams that year.  We prayed for each other; cheered for good news with each other; tug-of-warred for each other when thoughts like doubt, disappointment and discouragement had a grip.

What I've learned is, our dreams don't often come to pass the way we envisioned they would or with the timing we expected.  Because of the unpredictable, uncontrollable nature of life, our dreams can become blurry. At times it can actually seem easier and less painful to let go of hope than to hold on to it. 

"Dreamless Friend" is written for this season of life and the message is simple: DON'T LET GO! Our dreams are meant to be fought for; cried for; held onto without surrender. In seasons we're tempted to give up, instead it's time to go "home," be still, and allow God to restore us and renew our vision. If we don't let go, He will be faithful to complete every good dream He planted in us to dream.  

About-the-Song Series, Track 1: "Woe."

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.  Enter the sound of a "Hell's bell."  Then, "WOE" ushers in a weeping steel guitar, symbols and snake-like tambourine.
"Woe" is a song of vengeance.  It's angry.  It's sassy.  It's sarcastic.  It's written to our One True Enemy on behalf of all who live by Grace.
....
I get angry sometimes!  Frustrated, full of attitude and umph!  Sometimes at myself. Sometimes at other people. Sometimes at God. Sometimes I don't know why! It's tiring!
I asked God one day, "Why did you create this emotion?  I don't always like it!"  
...But, it must not be all bad!?  I mean, He created it for some good reason.  Even though showing anger is mostly taboo, God got angry sometimes, and Jesus was never short of smart one-liners when it was necessary (if you don't know him, you should; you'd really like him).
My question changed to: "How do I take this emotion of anger and use it for good instead of destroying my life and the lives of  the people around me?  How do I be angry, and at the same time, be anchored in humility toward You, my Faithful Friend, and toward others?"
A paradigm shift happened. "Woe" is my answer.  Can't wait for you to hear it!!!